Reviewing the online restaurant reviews
I thought I had a great idea for this week’s article.
I had planned to read through the Google and Tripadvisor (aka Twatadvisor) reviews for some of Ireland’s best restaurants, and pick out some of the saltier comments to share for our amusement.
While I did come across a few amusing turns of phrase, it turns out that the vast majority online reviewers really aren’t a whole pile of fun. In fact, you’d have more fun with a crowd of nuns doing a nine day novena while fasting on black tea and toast. (Granted, some members of my family would consider that to be mighty craic indeed).
In fact, the restaurants are doing quite well on Google and Tripadvisor (more on that later), so, I decided to get semi-serious and see what I could empirically infer from the data available. For the sake of keeping this exercise manageable, I looked only at Ireland’s eighteen Michelin starred restaurants, staying within the Republic for consistency. When it came to reading individual reviews, I looked only at 1* and 2* reviews that were less than 2 years old so as to avoid Covid-era comments, and to reasonably ensure that the current chef and team would be covered by the reviews.
In the interests of fairness, I am not linking any comment quoted below to the associated restaurant. This piece is intended as a macro-view of online reviews.
Finally, let me remind you to please treat all this with a healthy pinch of salt and don’t take it too seriously. The Irish fine dining scene is genuinely excellent right now, creating amazing food using the best of Irish produce. Please don’t forget that as you read the rest of this article.
Overall ratings are strong
First, I looked at the overall ratings for Ireland’s Michelin starred restaurants, including the number of reviewers contributing to that rating. Overall, the ratings are quite good, with no restaurant scoring lower than 4.5 on Google or 4 on Tripadvisor. The top performers across both platforms are arguably dede at the Customs House, Terre and Restaurant Chestnut. Corcaigh abú indeed.
The number of reviewers can matter, for good and bad
In very broad strokes, the greater the number of ‘samples’ used in a calculation, the greater confidence you can have in the resulting average. However, this assumption relies on the fact that the sample size is representative of the population or, in other words, that all reviewers were genuine customers of the restaurant and reasonably typical of people who might eat in these restaurants.
Malicious actors, such as those who leave deliberately leave false reviews (as recently experienced by Rasam) or people with an agenda who pile onto a restaurant for some idealogical reason (as happened to Dublin restaurant Shaku Maku following their support for Palestine), will negatively and unfairly skew the averages. It’s all too easy for fake or troll accounts to have a negative impact, and the restaurants often have little recourse.
Being in a hotel appears to matter
Interestingly, those restaurants located in a hotel (such as House Restaurant in Cliff House Hotel or The Oak Room in Adare Manor) don’t seem to get the same number of reviews as the stand alone restaurants. This might be because travellers leave a review for the overall property as they don’t perceive the restaurant to be a destination in its own right. Restaurant Patrick Guilbaud (The Merrion Hotel) and Glovers Alley (The Fitzwilliam Hotel) are the exception, probably because they’re located in Dublin and seen as distinct destinations to their host hotels.
What were the negative themes?
My chosen sample of restaurants are all at the higher end of the price spectrum, and guests will, rightly or wrongly, have high expectations when visiting. Some diners will be unerringly familiar with fine dining etiquette and navigating a whopper wine menu, while for others, it might be a once in a lifetime experience and are simply looking for a truly special meal.
Unsurprisingly, there was a strong theme around perceived value for money with comments such as ‘prices are outrageous’, ‘complete rip-off’, ‘portions were insubstantial’ and one reviewer going so far as to state “The sickening aspect was when we realised the cost and neither my wife and I could establish a bite of food that reflected the price’. As always, value can be strongly subjective, but guests are certainly entitled to determine where they will spend their well-earned money. However, it also demonstrates that guests can often equate portion size directly with prices, failing to factor in the cost of quality ingredients, payroll costs or the many other overheads that a restaurant has to manage.
Also emerging from the comments was a strong perception from some guests that staff in Michelin-starred establishments are ‘haughty, rude and dismissive’, ‘discourteous’, ‘arrogant’ resulting in guests leaving comments such as ‘the most aggressively hostile dining experience’ or ‘possibly the most unprofessional and hostile staff I have ever encountered’. It’s certainly strong stuff to leave personal comments about staff in reviews, but who knows what the actual situation was on the day. I personally like to say there are three sides to every story, ‘my side, your side and the truth in the middle’.
What made me laugh?
As I draw to a close, I did unearth a few quality comments that left me smiling.
If you order wine by the glass they will give you a pour you would not serve your worst enemy if he was dining in your home
Someone has clearly given thought to inviting their worst enemy to a dinner party.
kohlrabi so hard you could club someone to death with
This has the added benefit that you could then eat the murder weapon, thus destroying the evidence.
My napkin was so dirty I couldnt place it on my lap
My mind actually boggled trying to imagine this scenario.
The best thing the chef served up was the cheese board purely because he didn't make it.
A classic, but a goodie.
Felt violated the first time in 80 years of eating out.
This quote made me imagine Matron from Carry on Doctor. It goes to show that the tradition of British music hall humour never dies.
The food was very portentous
Watch out Nostradamus, food is coming for your job.
I wouldn't be surprised if this dinner puts me off meat for life.
The fact that the guest is still considering a vegetarian or vegan lifestyle means that this meal probably won’t be the reason.
Fab piece Joanne!!
Having eaten in a lot of these restaurants I would say only in half of the restaurants I’ve been disappointed with the food or either the staff. Some staff I think want us to give our bank statement to them to assure them to drop the haughty manner . Reading comments on their websites you can see the really harsh ones are perhaps done after a situation involving both parties. However if the comments are 60/40 disappointing, I’ve found they are correct.